I came across the following quote the other day, and it got me thinking of my journey towards reclaiming motherhood.
I was adamant I wasn’t going to be a typical mother; a stay at home mum, who solely looked after her kids. What kind of life would that be – one that revolved around her children’s needs?
What about my needs? What about my important career? One that fuelled my sense of self worth? Who would I be without my regular feedback of external cues, where I sat on the organisation chart, without the yearly pay rises and bonuses that let me know who I was and where I was at?
These things were much more exciting, important, and priority in my mind.
Society had filled my subconscious with the ‘right’ way to do things – school, go to uni, get the job, climb the corporate ladder, live in the (right) suburbs, get married, have kids, send them to private school, keep climbing the ladder of success while collecting more, doing more, but never speaking up, never stopping, never deviating from the plan, don’t complain, be grateful, and keep going.
It didn’t matter that I had digestive, chronic fatigue, and menstruation issues.
It didn’t matter that I had no social life, too exhausted and drained to be bothered to show up and be present in my interactions.
In my mind, what mattered was that I ticked off the next thing on the list, and performed.
When it came time to start our family, my cycle suddenly had other ideas. I recognised that stress was actually a problem, and had to decide whether I was going to go for prevention rather than the cure.
In the secret whisperings of my heart, I knew there was something more.
Something that allowed me to create change for individuals and uplift and energise and have the courage to be who they truly were. And it needed to start with me.
So I decided to leave my corporate job and start on my journey of self discovery by studying Kinesiology.
On my last day of work, I found out I was pregnant.
I started studying, gestating myself as well as my daughter, until she physically joined us earth side.
What a journey – what joy, what bliss, the agony and the ecstasy. And once she arrived, something within me said slow down.
Of course I didn’t listen.
Because while I was transitioning to a lifestyle that was more aligned and attuned with my life purpose, I still had the stigma of what motherhood portrayed lingering in my subconscious.
I still felt as though I needed to do it all. To have a thriving business, to see clients straight away, fill my calendar, to push aside the time I could have used to recharge, regenerate, and renew myself, because that’s what successful women do right?
My addiction to stress and pleasing others was on overdrive.
I knew something had to change when sending my kids into the school system just didn’t resonate for them or myself at all.
I knew they would thrive being able to follow their own education and learning on their own terms.
Diving deep into homeschooling was an integral lesson to my hidden self saboteurs of measure of self worth against societal standards.
To give away perceived success to …. stay at home and be with my kids?
But my heart and soul would not be quiet.
It required me to change. As I read about home education philosophies, strongly entwined amongst the words was the reclamation of motherhood. The importance and significance of nourishing and nurturing small minds, as well as our own.
To slow down and to soften.
Knowing that I had to reprogram my thoughts and beliefs from the ground up, I invested in working through my addictions to stress, other people’s opinions, and ticking off the to do list.
And over time, things changed. I changed.
I stopped overthinking, worrying, and trying to prove myself.
I stopped comparing myself against ‘others’.
And I started dropping into my heart and listening to within. I started slowing down.
I became more confident speaking up on centering children. That we can’t talk about what is best for women without also looking at what is best for our children as well.
To be proud of the significance of the role we are here to play. How we shift and evolve as our children do as well.
The importance of mothers, and trusting the innate instinctual that we have to protect, grow, and nurture our children.
Even when it goes against western society’s norms.
It required total surrender, deep faith, trust in myself, kindness and compassion, as well as a shitload of courage.
Reclaiming motherhood has absolutely been a journey that I’ve been on. I’ve resisted daily with what society has viewed motherhood as, and what it means for me as a woman, how it’s portrayed in media and reflected throughout society, priming the subconscious where we feel we are constantly battling something unseen and not understood but deeply felt.
We turn the tables on what we are fed by our societal influences, and instead focus on what it is we truly want.
Becoming aware is the first step. What stories have you been sold about what motherhood is? What resonates, and what doesn’t?
The second step is connecting in with what the highest vision could be for you and your family. If you didn’t have to worry about time, money, or other people’s expectations, what do you know in your heart of hearts, is the best for your family?
What we focus on, we attract.
So I invite you to do an audit on what social cues you are currently receiving that may not be conducive to a harmonious family environment that you are truly craving. One that matches what your vision of motherhood is.
Motherhood by heart – connecting in with your heart frequency and listening to the whisperings within.
Anna Grillo is a Mindset Mentor, Soul Connector & Holistic Business Strategist, helping well-being practitioners and purpose driven professionals transform fear and doubt into unlimited peace, joy, and ease.
When she’s not home educating her kids, she combines her well-being experience as an EFT Practitioner, Kinesiologist, Spiritual Companion, Freedom From Self Sabotage Coach with over twenty years of corporate human resources, business strategy, and leadership development to support those who have the courage to realise the highest version of themselves so they can create a soul led location independent lifestyle.