The only 3 things you need to know to be a good mum
Motherhood is a tough gig. To smack or not to smack. Breastfeed or bottle. In your bed, out of your bed. The list goes on. But I think that quite possibly, there only 3 things you need to know to be a good mum.
There is always a plethora of experts (and non-experts too) telling you how to bring up your kids. Books, blogs, baby whisperers – who do you listen to?
Did our grandparents worry so much about parenting?
I don’t think so. When did it all get so complicated, confusing and competitive?
I have been thinking about this a lot. Now that my kids are older, I can look back at the journey and wonder why I spent so much time fretting about everything!
I was one of those mums who read loads of parenting books and magazines. I approached motherhood like I would a university assignment. I was determined to get an A + ! Not everything went to plan though and I had to learn some hard lessons.
I had to give up my desire to be ‘the perfect mum’ and just be the ‘best mum I could be’.
Anyway, in hindsight, I have come to the conclusion that there really are only three things you need to know to be a great mum.
♥ LOVE. Always come from a place of love. Always act with love. Pretty simple, right? Actually, this applies to everything in your life.
♥ MAKE YOUR KIDS A TOP PRIORITY. When your kid’s needs are put right at the top of the list (don’t forget your own health and wellbeing), everything works. I know as soon as I start making other things a priority (like work), the cracks appear.
♥ FOLLOW YOUR HEART. I think we are born with maternal instincts. You should always follow them. Sit quietly and think. Does this feel right for me, for us as a family? The answer will come to you. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing or thinks about it. Just trust your instincts.
What do you think? Are these the only 3 things you need to know to be a good mum or would you add some more?
You might also like to read about reclaiming motherhood.
Love this post Sonia…and you are right, of course. Motherhood would be simple if we listened to ourselves more and ‘experts, books and blogs (except for our own, lol) a little less….
thanks Kristen 🙂 I wish I worked it out quicker, but better late than never !!
I agree on your 3 points. I’m a new mama (my son is 7 1/2 months) and during my pregnancy I felt I read everything on parenting to the point of information overload. What I’ve come to rely on are my own instincts; whatever feels right is what I do, and instead of trying to deny it because a book says it isn’t “normal” I just go with it because it works for me and my son. I’ve come to realize there is no “normal” that is the same for every mama.
Great positive post. Thanks for sharing!
thanks mamabebehawk – you have got it spot on !! 🙂
Great comments. I agree however sometimes I find I do have to put me first, just for some time out. Happy mum, happy family
I agree Antonia, you can’t neglect yourself ! 😉
It is hard having opposing views thrusted at you. I have been talking about this only this morning. I am trying my best, and that is all anyone can truly ask of you. I get angry at my kids, but I also tell them that I love them till the end of time. My DD7 has started saying. ” I know you’re angry with me mum, but I know you still love me.” To which I melt and kiss and cuddle. I must be doing ok.
I also make it a point of sitting down with a cuppa and a self help book for 10 minutes a day. Since I have started this routine, I feel much happier with myself and the decisions I make.
I hope you all have a lovely mothers day and get spoilt by your beautiful children/partners.
We would not be human if we didn’t get angry at our kids ! I like your idea of sitting down and making time for yourself! What is your favourite self help book?
Sorry just noticed your comment. At the moment I am reading a book called “10 minute time outs for moms” by Grace Fox. It is a christian devotional book. But sometimes I just sit down with a trashy mag or a craft book/pattern. Anything to just take me away and regroup my thoughts.
Hi Sonia I think your list is very good but in my opinion all those things can be hard (if not impossible) to do without coming from a compassionate place. That is compassion for yourself, your partner and your children. If I had to make a list I would put compassion first. Its not easy to do everything from a loving place when you are tired and finding it hard to cope – but if you stop and look at things with compassion (ie those kids are not acting out to hurt me and therefore I can put them first without feeling like I’m compromising myself, I’m tired but doing my best and I don’t have to be ‘perfect’ or feel like I have to be I’ll do it my way, etc) then I think you will find a sense of calm and freedom.
I love the idea of compassion ! I guess that is what I mean by coming from a place of love too – you just explained it really well for me !!! x
I could have written this myself! Completely agree with you, you said it all!
thanks Mummy Em ! 🙂
You are so right hun our parents and grandparents can teach us a lot of things. Loved seeing these photos, I always enjoy looking at older photos. Hope you had a wonderful Mothers day lovely xx
OMG it worked YAYYYYY!!!! xx
I did have a wonderful Mother’s Day. What about you?
I guess every generation has their challenges… maybe ours is how to manage too much information and our own expectations. Excellent tips 🙂
thanks meetoo 🙂
and now you have young teenagers, the fun will continue. keep loving (don’t stop the hugs and kisses), keep a sense of humour, be reasonable, talk with them and listen to what they say, know what the issues are (even if they are the subjects you are dreading)and be willing to discuss them without freaking out, and keep the boundaries strong.
enjoy the ride…. the results are fabulous
thanks Tricia – fab advice
I love the simplicity and power of your tips and I’m happy to report it’s pretty much how I roll. x
thanks Brenda! 🙂
<3 Love. So very true! Beautiful message.
thanks Kelly 🙂
This is a lovely post and your 3 things are simply lovely. Thanks.
thanks Nikki – did someone share on Facebook? I seem to have lots of you reading this tonite 🙂
This is a lovely post. Something that all mums could benefit from hearing and sharing.
Sorry for repeat comment. Silly computer!
Yes, I found you through Natural Parenting Mag:
https://www.facebook.com/NurtureParentingMagazine?hc_location=stream
thank you – I will go say thanks 🙂
This is the best mummy blogger post ever. :))
LOL – and I am sooo not a mummy blogger 😉
Absolutely agree! The photos are really special – to see the women in your family and baby Sonia together 🙂 Precious
thanks hun xxx
Lovely post Sonia, could not agree more with coming from the heart and going with your instinct.
thanks for reading gorgeous!
Sounds spot on to me Sonia xxx
Thanks beautiful!
Yes I love this 🙂 And when and why did it become so complicated? Is it because of social media alone? Did our mums and grandmas never complain about things like how tired they were, how much there always seems to be to do? How there never is time for us ourselves as mums? When suffering from depression and anxiety did they just leave it locked up inside and deal with it without sharing with anyone or seeing a doctor? I seriously would love to hear from people above 60 to know did they find life hard? Because I wish so much I lived back in the 50’s, 60’s & 70’s. Thanks Sonia for this great reminder of whats important x
Kate, I think the ‘village’ raising children was much more pronounced back then. People had their family around more to help. But I also think it’s a lot more complicated than just that! Women were not expected to have careers back then either!
thank you xooxoxo