I have no words. The shock. The horror. Mortified and devastated is what I am.
Look what I found in my 13-year-old son’s shoe drawer.
Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Not just one bar, but three large packets! All of it laden with artificial rubbish!
At first I was a bit cranky. Not just about the chocolate – I hate it when my kids do sneaky stuff behind my back. He is well aware we don’t buy this stuff and we don’t eat this stuff.
Then I got to thinking, why? Why, oh why?
Am I being too strict in our food choices? I didn’t think so. We are by no means 100% clean eaters! It’s just impossible to be that perfect!
Just this week, hubby and kids shared two blocks of Green and Blacks organic chocolate (I buy it when it’s on special). I am all for treats – what is a life lived without some pleasure, after all? But, I want those treats to be the very best quality treats, not some chemical concoction.
It’s all relative though isn’t it? Compared to the vast majority of his friends, we do eat differently. Mostly organic, very little processed foods, very little takeaway or junk foods, most things made from scratch. I find it pretty sad that we are the odd ones out.
Is it a case of peer pressure and trying to fit in with his friends? Is he rebelling against the choices I make for him, being the supposedly older and wiser parent?
Part of me is sad. Sad that my baby boy is growing up – he has his own money, he goes out with friends, he is starting to make some of his own choices.
All I know is that eating chemical laden crap isn’t what I want for my kids!
Looks like we are going to spend some quality time with The Chemical Maze Handbook this afternoon!
What do you think? Are you too strict with your kid’s food choices? Or not strict enough? Is there ever a happy medium?
I know when I first started earning my own money – I would spend it on treats and takeaway! Its the pleasure of being able to spend the money and make the choice for yourself I think! However, this was just a stage, and I now try to make the healthiest choice possible. It won’t be long before he realises how this will make his body feel! If you are brought up being taught about nutrition, its something that sticks with you!
I hope so. Just a stage?
don’t worry, I have found the same. It is hard for them when we as parents make choices for their health and well being instead of convenience rubbish, are not the norm, particularly in the part of the world we live in. It is sad, but what I do know is when the kids do have the other ‘rubbish’ they generally feel ‘rubbish’ after eating it. Fingers crossed they will learn in time hey. Good luck 🙂
Thanks Fiona. I am sure his competitiveness at sport will win out over a need for chocolate!
don’t be too disheartened, it could have been a LOT worse….drugs, cigarettes, pornography….really a few chocolates in the scheme of things is, well, quite normal for a teenager. I do think you are being a bit too rigid. My best friend brought her children up veggie but when they reached adult age they revealed to her the many times they sneakily visited McDonalds for a burger because they possibly felt left out or deprived in some way. We do have to teach our children to eat in a balanced way, ie chiefly healthy foods with an occasional “sinful treat”. This is what I would call “normal” eating. Chill out Mum, I’m sure he will turn out fine! 🙂
Thanks Jill. That is exactly my goal – healthy eating with some treats! I think that is a balanced way of eating. A lot of people, especially his peers seem to eat the opposite way! I did write a little tongue in cheek as well ! 😉
Oh it is sooo sad that a healthy additive aware diet is not the norm and eating ‘rubbish’ is. I am constantly told that I am brainwashing my children (4 & 3) as I explain what is in all the food they see everywhere, we call it blue stuff!!! you should have heard them telling off the Coke delivery man when they saw him recently …… 🙂 but even so my 4yr old said that he will be able to drink coke when he a ‘growed up”
Its a battle, unfortunately, but they will thank us for it. Eventually. Xxx
I hope so Sharon, they have been really good about our healthy way of life so far! They never ask for McDonalds or any junk food. This is why it was such a surprise (and a little disappointing). Hopefully, it was just a one off!
Oh wow! It’s tough being a mum sometimes isn’t it? But that time between 12 and 25 when they are no longer considered a child but still not really ‘adult’ is especially hard on mums. I went to a seminar on bereavement today (which I assure you has nothing to do with what I am about to say – it was just coincidental) and at the seminar they made some interesting points about young adults between the ages of 12 – 25:
During this time young people start to rely more on peers than parents for support and start to create their own adult identity, and
For many it is a time of confusion and trying new things to work out what fits best with them.
I guess they are two little tidbits that might be good to remember in terms of instilling values as they come into this difficult age. The other thing that they said was to make certain to have good modelling behaviour for the young adult and that in the end -despite- what they try out on their own – they should come back around to the sensible way of things.xx
My mum often tells a story about my brother-in-law as a teenager, turning up at our house drunk as a skunk complaining about his mother “having those church people at home again”. Now some 40 odd years later, guess who leads the sermon on Sundays??? Trust your instincts!
that’s funny!
that’s really interesting Andjxx! hopefully all the years of healthy eating will win out in the end!
I noticed that the sneaky items are all highly advertised, directly marketed for teens and well super tasty. Whilst Green’s chocolate is delicious, to a teenager it in no way compares to the afore mentioned. However, having a home life which models the best foods to eat will be invaluable in later years, a bit of a struggle now though !
ahhh! see, I should blame it on the multinationals !! 😉
Mulitnationals are responsible for all my bad behaviours !!! 😉
It is a little bit funny 😉 I’m sure you will be able to laugh about it tomorrow…having said that, I too would be horrified! I wouldn’t make a big deal about it, just let him know you know and you’re disappointed in his choices. Think of it as good practise for when he really starts to test the boundaries! Kristin x
Oh great…. can hardly wait for more !! lol 😉
Sonia, I wondered if the packets were open — perhaps it’s better finding chocolates that hadn’t been eaten in his shoe drawer rather than all empty wrappers. And I also wondered about shoe-flavoured chocolates — that can’t be too good anyways! Perhaps that’s why the chocolates are still in the drawer!
How old is he by the way?
I think that it is hard for kids to make good choices, especially with what they’re surrounded by, and what they are exposed to.
All empty Cheryl! He is 13 and I think needs to improve his subterfuge skills !!
I think you have taught him so well about his choices and he has all of the facts and knowledge to make informed choices. I think he will, it is probably a freedom to make his own choices phase, with a little bit of peer influence thrown in.
Visiting from Rebecca Mudridges’ site today.
thanks for stopping by Sophie! It has been nearly a year since I wrote this post and although he still is having the occasional chocolate, I don’t get worked up about it now! It’s a hard process, this relaxing of the apron strings!
Well it was a very long stage for me. I grew up in a strict healthy food family. If people gave mum junk food for us it went straight in the bin. When I was 15 we moved to the city and I got a part time job and I went nuts with junk food. Fast forward 20 years before I realised all the damage I’ve done. (Health problems). Now on a strict healthy eating lifestyle for my family I worry I might create the same ‘problem’ for my kids. At a party they pull up a chair at the junk food table while all other kids nibble and run off. Mine are in heaven and they won’t move until I tell them that’s enough. I try to give them a balance(some treats every now and then), but the balance never seems to be enough.
It is such a hard thing – I am not sure I will ever get the balance right!! x
I know this is an old article, but someone has out a link to this on a Facebook page.
I don’t have kids yet, but I find it interesting when I read about things like this as I hope to teach my kids Bout new nutrition and like you, would be a bit disheartened feeling like I had failed and why would they want to eat those foods.
But as some others have said, it is a natural part of growing up for kids to want to try things and I think I will have to remember that and just hope like others have said that you have taught all the nutrition knowledge you could and you just hope they will come back to making good choices.
My question (sorry for this long response) is that I was wondering if you spoke to your son about it and asked him why he felt he wanted them and or why he felt he had to hide it from you. I would be interested in hearing his response if you did. I love your page by the way 🙂
Sorry for all the ‘autocorrect’ mistakes, I’m sure you can figure out what I was trying to say lol.
Yes I did – I think it was more about not wanting to disappoint. I have been a lot more flexible lately and just allowing him to spend his money where he wants.
Sonia, there’s every chance that if you told him that apples were evil, there’d be apple cores in the drawer. And 13 year old boy, hmmmm, big peer pressure I”m guessing. Sees his friends eating them, wants to have a try …… While I know how you feel about food choices and eating well, a part of me thinks you should thank your lucky starts it wasn’t a joint or little pills, or a box of condoms!! 🙂
too true!! if that is the worst that I find, then things are going good right??? 😉
I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath to see what was in the drawer….crappy chocolates! Perhaps Green & Blacks need to do a range that is appealing to teenagers! Yes could have been worse but I totally understand your surprise and disappointment. I think the part I would have felt most upset about is the hiding it from you. My boys are still little at age 3 and 6 so I am yet to deal with the teen years and independence but I agree with others that if good food foundations have been layed your son will return to them because his body will lead him back. Like anything we want to communicate to teenagers (I have worked in adolescent health and welfare) be clear about your expectations and limits but don’t make a big deal about it as it only makes it more attractive! I am with you that it is sad that we who eat real food are in the minority I really want to change that. Good luck! x
thanks Nikki!! It’s been a while since that post and while he does have the occasional choccy now or junk, being into sports, he recognizes how the great food effects his performance, so he mainly eats the good stuff!!
You post made me laugh! I love it because when you are living a really clean, happy life, small things ( in the scheme of it all) feel big. I’d feel exactly the same as you. What it made me think of though is myself and how much I struggle despite being 30 and food savy. How much harder is it for a teenager? Who despite the knowledge just wants what he wants. The other day I had a flash back to when I was about 10 and my piano teacher was late so her mum gave me this cupcake as afternoon tea to pass the time. It was the sponge type, filled with ‘cream’ and bright pink icing and so full of preservatives it would still be in date today. You know the ones? It was just about the most amazing thing I had ever tasted – my own mother would never dream of giving me such a thing! Anyway so next time I was grocery shopping I searched them out, you know, just in case they were still there 20 years later and I could … look at them. Thankfully they don’t make them any more (perhaps a child instantly developed diabetes from consuming them?). Shame…
I think in the big picture view of things, what you have taught him and instilled in him with survive those years of doing what he wants. xo
thanks Jade – I think you are right!! 🙂